out of my mind: Kids

Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts

16 March 2007

but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again ... ever.

A friend from seminary, Eric Hartman, the Pastor of Providence Church in Garland, Texas, has posted these great thoughts about how the family and church are increasingly at war with each other in believers' priorities on His blog SEMPER REFORMANDA (always reforming). I completely share his thoughts. It's a good read that I encourage you to checkout--especially you parents. Click here for the post. (By the way, before you dismiss him because of the picture, I will confess that I too wore bow ties in seminary and may have even led him into such folly).

14 March 2007

kids talking theology

Why can't adults have good theological conversations like this one my nieces Baileigh and Mckenna had, compliments of my sister's blog ORGANIZED CHAOS...

I was asking the girls about their day at school on the drive home. Today's letter was "R" and Mckenna had made a rocket ship with construction paper. That led to the following conversation:

Mckenna: "Mommy, can Daddy build me a rocket ship someday so I can go up high, high, high, in the sky and see where the rain comes from?"

Baileigh: "Daddy can't build a rocket ship...you have to fly up in the sky in a plane...Daddy could fly you in the plane though because he is a pilot and that is what he does. He flies planes."

Mckenna: "Yah, and we could go on a rainy day and see rain. And maybe rainbows. And maybe heaven."

Baileigh: "No, you can't see heaven. That is even higher then the clouds. And we can't go there anyway Mckenna."

Mckenna: "Why?"

Baileigh: "Because we have sin and there is no sin in heaven...so someday when it is time to go to Heaven we can go because then we won't have sin. That is why Jesus died on the cross."

Mckenna: "Yep! But we won't have sin when we move to New Jersey!"

Baileigh: "Yes we will, Mckenna, we only won't have sin when we go to heaven."

Mckenna: "Maybe we can go to heaven after New Jersey."

11 February 2007

How early is “preteen” supposed to begin?

According to Wikipedia, a preteen is at least eight years or older, but has not yet experienced puberty (roughly 8-12). While the physical side is apparent, it also carries with it psychological development, including “a more developed sense of self and identity.” I went looking for this information when my four year-old daughter Ayanna repeatedly said a couple of things that I really didn’t expect to hear until those preteen years about four years from now!

First, there was her tear-filled outburst one day that “Nobody likes me.” I’m pretty sure that she’s at least as socially adjusted as her father (which on it’s own might actually be cause for concern), but more importantly her mother. Where did that come from?

More recently, as I was being firm with her to correct her misbehavior, I’ve heard: “But Dad, you’re hurting my feelings!” Excuse me? Worst of all, I think she sensed weakness on my part…she knew she got to me with that…as she’s repeated it several times with just too fast a trigger finger.

Sounds like preteen to me, regardless of the definition.

12 January 2007

Young Adults Leaving the Church

A recent report by the Barna Group reports that “Most Twentysomethings Put Christianity on the Shelf Following Spiritually Active Teen Years.” Six out of ten young adults who were active in a local church fail to translate that into their early adulthood. More than a temporary transitional phase, the more disturbing fact is that this is persisting deeper into adulthood.

As the study notes,

“Even the traditional impulse of parenthood - when people’s desire to supply
spiritual guidance for their children pulls them back to church - is weakening.
The new research pointed out that just one-third of twentysomethings who are
parents regularly take their children to church, compared with two-fifths of
parents in their thirties and half of parents who are 40-years-old or more.”

Among the perspectives offered by researchers is this one:

"Much of the ministry to teenagers in America needs an overhaul - not
because churches fail to attract significant numbers of young people, but
because so much of those efforts are not creating a sustainable faith beyond
high school. There are certainly effective youth ministries across the country,
but the levels of disengagement among twentysomethings suggest that youth
ministry fails too often at discipleship and faith formation. A new standard for
viable youth ministry should be - not the number of attenders, the
sophistication of the events, or the ‘cool’ factor of the youth group - but
whether teens have the commitment, passion and resources to pursue Christ
intentionally and whole- heartedly after they leave the youth ministry nest."
Before any parents reading this exclaim, “How could our Youth Pastor have gone so wrong!?” this comment is added to this explanation:

"it’s not entirely surprising that deep, lasting spiritual transformation
rarely happens among teenagers - it’s hard work at any age, let alone with the
distractions of youth. And, since teenagers’ faith often mirrors the intensity
of their parents, youth workers face steep challenges because they are trying to
impart something of spiritual significance that teenagers generally do not
receive from home.”
I am thankful that our Youth Pastor understands this and has this heartbeat. Both of the practical findings the researchers suggest are strategies WCC is pursuing.

“Another shift," he continued, "is to develop teenagers’ ability to
think and process the complexities of life from a biblical viewpoint. This is
not so much about having the right head knowledge as it is about helping teens
respond to situations and decisions in light of God’s principles for life. Also,
we have learned that effective youth ministries do not operate in isolation but
have a significant role in training parents to minister to their own children.”

If you’re reading this as a parent, consider this a warning. If you’re reading it as an attender of this church, take it as a challenge to get personally involved in ministry to our youth. And, if you’re a teenager, know that we love you and want God’s best for your life. We undoubtedly make mistakes in how we seek to help you find and follow that best. But, I hope you see our efforts. And I hope you see Him despite our inadequacies and hypocrisies. It seems remote now, but your life will be shaped by your faith. Everyone places faith in something. We want you to have faith in Jesus not to carry-on a family tradition… not because we say it’s right… not to perpetuate an institution called the church… but because faith in Him is a faith well-placed. It leads into a life that is fuller and more meaningful than any other faith yields.

Down on the right-hand side of this blog under “My Favorites” is a link “Magazine for Music/Culture.” The magazine is Relevant, a magazine for by and for those twentysomethings I’ve been talking about from a Christian perspective. One of them writes from their perspective about leaving the church. It’s worth a read if this is something you’re thinking about. Click here to read the article.

31 October 2006

A Weekend!

What a busy weekend--but a wonderfully irresponsible one (to quote Bono...but, I'm getting ahead of myself). I'm looking forward to seeing all the rest of the staff this morning and listening to Mike Wittmer's message from Sunday. I hope you were there Sunday to listen live. Thought I'd give a quick summary of what we did during the time off.

FRIDAY / One of those work days at home running errands, doing chores, and parenting. We took a long drive to a pumpkin patch that turned-out to be a pretty big disappointment, so we didn't get anything.

SATURDAY / Aya woke up and immediately began puking. I'm not talking routine vomiting here; I'm talking about horror movie kind of puking. It was every ten to fifteen minutes. After two dozen episodes, she became extrememly lethargic and almost unresponsive, not too mention the brown blood stuff we began to see. After a phone consultation with the Pediatrician, my Dad graciously came out to watch Arys and we took Aya to the E.R. at Beaumont Hospital (Royal Oak). We spent the rest of the day there while they did tests and gave her an I.V. to rehydrate her. Turns out it was just a run-of-the-mill virus that really hit her hard. She did really great dealing with it all. The bummer was that her long-anticipated trip to the Friendly Forest with Katelyn Hall was a no-go. Given the weather, I was grateful!

SUNDAY / We got-up early (though not as early as usual on a Sunday for me, and with that wonderful extra hour thrown-in) and drove to Grand Rapids where we worshipped at Mars Hill. The Teaching Pastor that we really like (Rob Bell) was not speaking (of course!). Instead, the showed a 40 minute interview between Bill Hybels (Pastor at Willow Creek Community Church) and Bono (lead singer of U2). I'll say more about that in a subsequent post, but suffice it to say that Willow Creek did this interview about a month ago on another weekend I was on vacation and Cami and I had been tempted to go to listen, but opted to stay home and finish a painting project. I guess God wanted us to see it after all.

After a special trip to Toys R Us (of all the stuff, and with all our lobbying and manipulation to the contrary, Aya picked a Little Mermaid make-up set!? When we got in the car she explained it to Mom: "I get my own so I not have to use your make-up." Makes sense. I am soooo in trouble...). We had a great lunch then checked-into the Ramada Plaza with the four-story waterslide. After all the build-up and anticipation, she went down it only twice and then was too freaked-out to even get near me (I kept having to remind myself that she was possibly still sick after a traumatic Saturday). She finally realized that I wasn't going to make her, so we had fun splashing around in the kiddie pool (checkout the depth below):

Friends Again! (diving not recommended)

Abused in the "deep end"

I should note that the seven big custom coaches idling in the parking lot turned out to be for the hard rock post-grunge band Godsmack. I can't say that we're fans (I did at least know who they were), but I can say that we were relieved to see that they were totally low-key and quiet while they were in the hotel as they prepared for a concert at Van Andel Arena.

MONDAY / After a quick stop at Baker Book House (torturous since I didn't have money to spend! But, I did get a new study Bible I'd been needing for a long time since the one I had in seminary was falling apart), we headed to Holland. We spent time that beautiful day exploring the town. This is when I crunched our car in backing-up in a tight municipal parking lot. Brilliant! Damage to both cars was minimal and cosmetic, but I still felt like a complete dork (I did grow-up parking cars as a valet after all--this isn't supposed to happen to ME! And no, I'm not including a picture.)

In the late afternoon, we met-up with our niece Anna who attends Hope College. We got a tour of the sorority house she lives in, went to dinner, hung out at Starbucks, and got her back for her night class. It was great to see her and spend the time catching up. Aya is smitten with her, but was so low key that it was comical. We ended up at the Holiday Inn Express where Aya both girls crashed.

Ayanna, Anna, and Aryssa--a.k.a. good genes

TUESDAY / We got-up early and headed back to Grand Rapids for the "Abraham to Jesus" exhibit at DeVos Place. This is the largest collection of biblical artifacts ever to go on tour around the world. And it is the most comprehensive spanning the time of Abraham to the fall of Masada after the Jewish Revolt of 66 A.D./C.E. and the razing of the temple in Jerusalem. It was absolutely fascinating (I'll tell you a little more in a subsequent post). I would encourage everyone to go, but it leaves town this Saturday (it will be in Columbus, Ohio for the next couple of weeks--the next closest location during its North American tour).

We got back in time for Trick-or-Treating. Aya was Super Girl and Arys was a Peapod (since Mom and I always call her sweet pea). Aya ran out of steam early, but we still had an obscene amount of candy.

My wonderful women

I should note that we came home to find that we'd been T-P'ed (toilet-papered--can you believe there's a Wikipedia entry on that too!?). Cami doesn't want me to mention this, but I think it was a pretty lame job. The good news is that we had not recently cleaned-up all of Reagan's mess in the yard. I hope someone got to take home a treat! If you're willing to let me know who was behind this feeble attempt at trickery, I'd be happy to hold a clinic on graduate level T-Ping.

So, that was the weekend. It really was fun, even if not exactly relaxing. I'll tell you about the Bono interview and the exhibit later. For now, I'm going to work to get some rest!

29 August 2006

Welcome to my blog: "out of my mind"

IF YOU'RE NEW to blogs, a blog is a "web log." Some are like diaries left open for others to read. Others are running commentaries on daily activities. Still others focus more narrowly on particular issues.

Mine is going be a smattering of each of these. Sometimes I'll try to express something I'm thinking or feeling. Other times, I may want to comment on what's happening at WCC or in the Cote' family. Or, I may want to zero-in on some issue or topic that's in the crosshairs. Basically, this is where I'll dump whatever it is that I can get out of my mind.

Ayanna: our future hip-hopper

I assume that the majority of you will be from the WCC community. I'm thankful that we're together and grateful for this way to interact. Others present will be family, friends, and anyone else who's stumbled across this. Welcome! God has brought us together to walk some length of the journey together. I'm excited about the potential.

I aim to post regularly, but erratically. A new post will come every couple of days at the minimum. Likewise, the lengths will vary too. I'm the master of this blog, not the other way around!

Aryssa: never too young to start

Ultimately, I'm mindful that this blog isn't about me alone.

There's you. I'm really just a small part of "us." I look forward to the comments you'll make--the conversation that will flow in both directions. Yours may just be the more valuable portion!

There's God. In every aspect of this, I aim to glorify Him. For both you, and I, may our understanding, appreciation, and response of His movement in the world increase. Can you imagine a life gripped by His power and purpose? Do you long to live life so that Jesus is present now? I think I do. And to the extent that I don't, I hope He'll draw me to that desire with increasing intensity. In the end, beyond getting things out of my mind, this is about getting Him into my heart.

Buckle up. We're now transmitting...